notes to self

अंत भला स्थ: भला
अस्थ: भला सब भला

रीत बड़ी क्या हुआ
दिशा देत हर दैत्य

समय बड़ा बलवंत
स्थिर: समय का ज्ञान

जो बोलत ते बोल तू
जब न बोले तब यही बोल

जो बोले वो भ्रम है
जो न बोले वही भ्रम

ज्ञान सर्व व्याप्त है
ज्ञान मै और तू

जब ज्ञान का अंदेश न हो
ज्ञात करो सब ज्ञान

Monday

the days will set

no nites will be left,

nostalgia weeping through nostrils

ears tuned only to heartbeat,

oceans and golden black sand still there for centuries,

there will still be films on aliens and impotent men,

bringing in life the everydays of mondays.

Adam and Eve

Am I more real in your imaginary world?
What you like about me?

you write good poems

for reasons, with logics, I fail.

decipher

were we not together for centuries
She is beautiful
your crush
you can propose to her
tell her
you like her.

I know I am good I am different I am unique
We are growing seeds
where do I belong don’t know?

Your beauty will fade away
your attitude will change
simplicity may get complicated

See the point is not that
such a dry feeling
I get jealous

We did go out of there
and you were not completely unconscious
you were responding to me
what you felt?

it’s like
wants to go home
but nobody home
broken inside..............

is it not wet outside?
outside is in the process of getting dried
but deep down within I’m high high high

light that we are
are we made of stars or black holes?

I guess we are recycled

yes… we are recycled
no… power failure
like water we dry

we are perfect

am I imaginary ?

what do I tell you......
we are together to go forward

when I puked that on your birthday
I was not conscious
but when I was it was beautiful

what are you trying to do here?

Am I not your exclusive right who’s abandoned?
I’m just communicating what's on my mind
my dreams get shaky
I keep losing my faith
the pain part gets too much to handle sometimes

is it meant to shake me?
is it that our beliefs are made of waxes

it’s not wax......... it’s an illusion

sun has been taken over by the clouds
I hate reality, certain hidden things come out
but then fire suppresses........

I get scared
abandoned
is it that we are scattered in the life,
which is pressing my subconscious?

is it that we are puppets
whose strings
go up
go behind
come from under
and are held in our hands
the more we tuck up
the more we are pulled down?
I was trying to put your shirt down every time it was coming up

get me out of here
is it real or imagination?
I dint touch you anywhere
I felt, you are real......................

I start feeling small
I don’t know why I feel

did everything I feel was a dew in the morning which evaporates
shapes takes itself.. I am not even a potter that makes pots out of clay

may be I am sweet
may be I am good
may be I am the best
may be I am goddess
maybe I am beautiful
I know it
you can’t do anything about it
but
can you extract honey from flower by force?

every time when we are together when we meet when we get into each other
we make something out of it

decipher...

we will be over before realizing it..

I don know
how many centuries
I really don’t
but I feel
it goes back
memories which are not remembered in mind which are billions millions centuries old
gets me back
I feel connected
because we are

did I leave you and go, am I lost inside?

when I close my eyes
I see a seed been sown in the mud
I see us giving it water, nourishing it, growing it
when I open my eyes I look around I see big tall huge trees
then I feel those seeds have become adults
grown into such a big thing

in this life
we tried growing seeds,
producing twice,
because we have grown, nature

and we are not dream

first time we were into each other...... we made life
yes we are for real

we are together
its true n honest, it’s pure

rest is not important

I don know why I do things which I know I don’t belong to
this negativity, devilish things pull me
so hard sometimes

next time if I am pulled with the strings which want me to enter the world can I make a poem?
I am not part of that is negativity
I will grow plants

of our conversations and other things, you give it more shape, direction
I just have some thoughts which I put down

often I ask how it feels
to be different from me
we are same
but how does it feel to be different from me

I am feeling like a butterfly

are we to try every time to sew things together ?

were we not together in centuries

snow is falling
we see protecting ourselves against each other
fire is around
I see us burning in it together yet coming out fine

you are my nature
which is been there with me always
in every birth.... inside water......... outside water, land, this planet, this universe, these stars, sun, moon, galaxy
it’s all known
memories are forgotten in the mind of all these things
but I feel connected to you.... as truly n honestly you have always been me

so see we r connected
I wished to say more..........
but you know it
remember the feeling when we were tree
and we continue to be recycled until........ we are together
perfect is not the word, but words are just……
share those same things with your unique friends
rest is all inconsequentialities
you know you write better

Free Stars

with a feather touch
i woke
with light in my eyes
i spoke
too many sentiments
i can scribble
with people in the way it went digital
still i write
for all of thy
to wake to blame to shit on me
still so lame
with rest on the cane
will the rains storms and winds
take us away
In the ecstacy they shone
the free stars
since millions of years i tried
not yet old enough
to realise
free stars are stuck in a elipse

Kill the paupers

Below the Flying saucers
The attack of the paupers
Publish the dacoits
Kill the Maoists
The power still reigns
In the hands of the cancer
Where did we start from?
Where do we end?

Still there is time for us to begin..
And in the end
Where we wonder?
In the abyss
Or in the center

UN

UN, a big farce
Generate patriotism for mother Earth?

Is it tough to be nationalistic
Clear the blood for modern art - dilute dissolve globalise

The more we grow
The more we eat, the less we digest, the less we dissect, the more we destroy, the less we preserve,

The bulls on verge
Of take over
Take refuge in Bangladesh
Celebrate your independence in the dungeons
Believe your god
Or burn it, or bury it
Stop making mess of me
Of us, of we

All of us were left in the lurch

Half of them didnt show any guts

Rest them didnt bother with us

Some of them wasted in wars

and rest on the mass

with belief I prayed

and for every prayer i made

another prayer raised

from the depths and shallows

to make my prayers hollow

Why to confuse the god I thought,

even i said it loud

lest someone understands

Spare the poor god i thought

why involve in politics

But all was shiny and glittery

there were still black blue sky

opening in my sight

Where would you buy some.. eh

the star power

sure, I said,

its a free stars

but now,

and n o w

and n o w

its all in the past.